Conscious Love – the Secret Key to Transformation


Where there is the energy of Love there cannot be stagnation, there can be no complacency or mediocrity. If we aspire to love and to really accept love for what it is, we must also accept its constant impulses to continually improve ourselves.


Many people seek to achieve positive transformation in their lives by changing the exterior conditions. There are few who understand that the life we live is a perfect mirror of our inner life: of the way we are, how we think, how behave; a reflection of our desires and aversions, our fears and aspirations.

Everything we create and nurture in our inner being will inevitably be reflected, sooner or later, in unfolding events. Positive change in our life begins with the positive transformation of our being on all its levels. Still, the vast majority of people hope to improve their inner state by constantly changing the outer.


The magic of Love, how long does it last? 

There are many ways how to transform ourselves spiritually, how to realize our divine nature. Yet, there is one way that is accessible to anyone, anywhere – LOVE.

Love always transforms. Anyone who ever was in love or is right now, will recognise the magic transformation love brings. But how long does it last, this magic of love?

Indeed, the blissful state of those who are in love cannot go unnoticed. The brightness of their eyes, the ever glowing smile on their face tell us that they have entered another world, more beautiful, more radiant than the one they lived in before. The affability of their gestures, the generosity in their deeds – all speak of this.

However, the great majority of people, when being in love, fall into the same mistake. They tend to believe that all their wonderful states are the result of the presence of the other one. Therefore, they project all their feelings and desires on the other one, hoping that the other one will fulfil them. And if the beloved person vanishes from their life or stops loving them, then the flame in their heart, which before illuminated their whole existence, fades away or even burns down all at once. Thus they return to the same condition they were in before… because it was not a genuine transformation.

Love is a divine agent of continuous transformation

Generally, people do not have the tools for maintaining high states long enough. Very few people know the methods that would help them sustain such elevated experiences; experiences which tune us to high spheres of existence. Only then the real, durable transformation can occur in our life.

Ancient Tantric wisdom reveals to us the true nature of love. Love was known to be a divine agent of continuous transformation. When we understand the profound meaning of love, we can easier decipher its mysterious mechanisms.

According to the tantric tradition, our capacity to love represents our capacity to transform spiritually. Love is the energy that does not allow stagnation and does not let us indulge in mediocrity.

True love requires a heroic attitude in which we gladly accept the challenges of love and assume responsibility for our own life and evolution.

If we truly aspire to love, we need to accept Love for what it really is;

to accept its constant impulses to overcome our limitations.

True love is a great challenge, a glove thrown to us by Destiny itself which only the brave ones are capable to accept. The others will run away at the first transformative impulse – the first challenge appeared in a couple relationship. Such impulses are often painful and unpleasant for the Ego. Weak people and ordinary people look only for their own pleasure, comfort and ‘amusement’ in love – all of which distract our attention from what truly matters.

However, such pursuit of only pleasure and comfort does not lead anywhere, for this is not the true purpose of love. Love can offer fulfilling moments of delicious intimacy, but in the next moment can already challenge us. It obliges us to come out of our comfort zoneThat’s how we can recognise real love.

Love can provide enthusiasm, can enhance our force of action, but it never promises comfort.

It does give us wings, but we cannot use these wings to fly wherever our ego wants to direct us. If we do no fly in the right direction, towards the elevated realms of the existence, it will break our wings, and sometimes our heart too.

Love constantly confronts us with new situations that demand our full attention. But it also enhances our creativity, stimulates a positive attitude and determines us to always remain in the mysterious energy of the beginning.



Love propels us to evolve


In the beginning we want to become better perhaps only to impress the one who awoke our interest or to ensure that they become more and more interested in us. Such motivations, even though they are egoistic, represent the first step towards transformation.


It is not only about pretending that we are someone else, better than we are in reality, in order to fascinate the other. It is about making a real effort to surpass some of our weaknesses, vices, limitations or flaws of character.

As we deepen the love within our heart, a sincere desire to become better arises within us so that we can help the one we love. We do not strive any more to perfect ourselves just in order to conquer someone. Instead, we truly want to make our beloved’s life more beautiful, to find out what are his or her profound needs, even beyond what our beloved might consciously desire. This already requires the awakening of our empathy, intuition and altruism, all of which gradually leads to the awakening of our soul.


Tantric relationship as a tool for spiritual transformation 


Tantric practice goes even deeper: it makes us realise that the true reason of being together is, in the first phase, to help each other in the process of spiritual development; later on to get closer and closer to the divine way of being, and ultimately to attain spiritual realisation.


In the case of ordinary couples, the two are together in order to feel good, to create a family, to help each other with material things, whereas in a tantric love relationship the main focus is the spiritual development. The process of transformation is accelerated through different modalities: 


  1. Constant transfiguration that the two have towards each other as well as towards themselves.
  2. Practice of certain spiritual techniques together in an attentive and systematic way. This will help them to develop qualities of their soul, get to know each other on a deeper level, as well as to feel and to understand each other’s profound nature.
  3. Doing only those activities together that leads to the spiritual transformation. It means not to spend time in a mediocre way, but instead to cultivate intimacy and sublime eroticism.
  4. Tantric lovemaking. This is the most accessible and efficient modality for a couple on the tantric path, as during it sublime cosmic energies are invoked and awakened, helping the lovers to transform their being on a very deep level.
  5. Nurturing love within their souls, thus growing the love towards each other and expanding the consciousness more and more.


 Transformation does not happen through demands or expectations


Many people aim to mould the character of their lover according to their own desires and even perversities. However, the transformation, which comes through love, follows the divine guidance and not the egotistic demands or expectations of the other one. 


Such genuine transformation will fascinate our beloved even more than the apparent transformation that could have been attained through demands and expectations.


Due to the lack of understanding and spiritual education, the majority of people try to change their beloved into someone who will satisfy their needs.


On the other hand, there are those who fall into the trap of trying to fit the expectations of the other. Such attempt gradually leads them into losing their freedom, as well as their inspiring beauty and the magnetism of a free soul. As a consequence of such a “love prison” they lose the capacity to awaken love within their heart and within the heart of the beloved.