Conscious Love – the Secret Key to Transformation


Where there is the energy of Love there cannot be stagnation, there can be no complacency or mediocrity. If we aspire to love and to really accept love for what it is, we must also accept its constant impulses to continually improve ourselves.


Many people seek to achieve positive transformation in their lives by changing the exterior conditions. There are few who understand that the life we live is a perfect mirror of our inner life: of the way we are, think and behave; a reflection of our desires and aversions, our fears and aspirations.

Everything we create and realise in our inner being will inevitably be reflected, sooner or later, in unfolding events. Positive change in our life begins with the positive transformations of our being an all its levels.  Still, the vast majority of people put the ox-cart ahead of the oxen, in other words, they hope to change for good their inner state by constantly changing the outer.


There are many ways and paths to transform ourselves spiritually, moving towards our fulfilment as beings of divine origin. Yet, there is one way that is accessible to almost anyone, almost anywhere. LOVE.

Love always transforms, no doubt about it; anyone who is, or has ever been in love knows it pretty well. But how long do such effects last?

Indeed, the blissful radiance of those who are in love cannot go unnoticed. Their brightness announces that they have entered another level of experiencing to the one they were living in before: a more beautiful, more mysterious, and more shining world.

The affability of their gestures, the generosity reflected in their deeds all speak of this…. One problem appears though: people who fall in love are so fascinated by the delights of lovemaking; they project all their experiences, feelings, moods and wishes on the other, believing that all these inner states are a product of the presence of the other person only.

And if, for one reason or another, the beloved person vanishes from their life, or that love fades away, the flame in their hearts that illuminated their whole being with so many wonderful qualities burns down, or even goes out altogether. They return almost to the same condition they were in before they fell in love… because it was not a genuine transformation.

It was just a temporary resonance with some high frequency energies, triggered by their feeling of love. Generally people do not have the means and inner mechanisms to sustain the subtle resonance with the high spheres of existence long enough for real and long lasting transformation to occur.

The ancient tradition of Tantric wisdom reveals to us, and helps us understand, the true nature and meaning of love, as a divine agent of continuous transformation. This is an important key to decipher the secrets of love; this mysterious aspect of our life that was the central subject of interest for so many philosophers, psychologists and artists as well.

The tantric vision clearly shows that our capacity to love at the same time represents our capacity to transform ourselves in a spiritual sense.

Love is the energy that does not allow stagnation and does not let us remain complacent in mediocrity. If we aspire to love and really accept love for what it is, we must also accept its constant impulses to overcome our limitations. True love is a great challenge, a glove thrown to us by Destiny itself that only the brave are capable of accepting.

The rest will run away at the first transformative impulses that are often so painful and unpleasant for the Ego. Weak people and ordinary people look only for their own pleasure, comfort and ‘amusement’ in love – all of which distract our attention from what truly matters.

However, this search does not lead anywhere, for this is not the true purpose of love. Love can offer fulfilling moments of delicious intimacy, but in the next moment can already challenge us. It obliges us to come out of our comfort zoneThat’s how we can recognise real love.

Love can provide enthusiasm, can enhance our force of action, but it never promises any kind of emotional stability or comfort. It does give us wings, but we cannot use this wings to fly wherever our ego self wants to direct us. If we do no fly it in the right direction, towards the elevated realms of the existence, it will break our wings, and sometimes our heart too.

Love constantly confronts us with new situations that demand our full attention, enhance our creativity, stimulate a positive attitude and determine us to be in a permanent state of connection with the mysterious energy of the beginning.



How does love act in the sense of our transformation?

In the beginning we want to become better perhaps only to impress the one who awoke our interest or to ensure that they become  increasingly interested in us. Both mainly egoistic motivations, but still it is a first step towards transformation. It is not just about pretending that we are different to fascinate the other, but about making real efforts to surpass some of our weaknesses, vices, limitations or deficiencies of character.

As love deepens more into our heart a sincere desire arises within us to become better so that we can help more the one we love. We do not any more strive to perfect ourselves just to conquer someone of the opposite sex; we truly want to make our lover’s life more beautiful, to create for him or her the conditions to be happy, knowing by intuition what he or she truly needs for this, even beyond what she might consciously long for. This already requires the awakening of our empathy and altruism that gradually leads to a more and more plenary awakening of our soul.

Tantric practice goes even deeper: it makes us realise that the true reason of being together is, in the first phase, to help each other in the process of spiritual development; later on to get closer and closer to a divine way of living, and ultimately to attain together the supreme spiritual fulfilment.

In common couples the lovers are together in order to feel good, to create a family, to help each other in worldly things, while in a tantric love-relationship the main focus is on spiritual development.  This transformation process is stimulated through different channels and modalities:

  1. They constantly  transfigure each other and practice self-transfiguration
  2. They chose to do together only activities that serve transformation.
  3. They practice together efficient spiritual methods and techniques.
  4. They engage in tantric rituals together; these being the most accessible and efficient modalities for a tantric couple, as in such rituals cosmic energies are invoked through occult resonances with the infinite energy-spheres of the Universe for accelerating the process of transformation.
  5. They can attract the Divine Grace more easily due to the state of love that is continuously nurtured in the souls of the two lovers.

Tantric love requires a heroic attitude that gladly accepts the challenges of love, that assumes responsibility for our own life path and evolution.

Many people aim to mould the character of their lover according to their own desires, and even perversities, and when they finally achieve this to some extent, they are disappointed with the outcome. Quite understandable, as exactly those qualities that were so enchanting at the beginning have withered in, or disappeared from, the other.

Transformation through love must follow the divine thread and not the egotistic demands and expectations of another person. Paradoxically, the results of such a divinely integrated process of self-transformation will fascinate even more the other than the expected outcomes of his or her requirements or expectations would have brought.

The great majority of people want to turn the beloved person into a robot that would satisfy all their needs, whenever they want. There are many who fall into this trap of trying to fit the expectations of the other, but thus gradually losing their freedom they also lose their inspiring beauty, the magnetism of a free soul and then shortly after they lose even the capacity to awaken love in the heart of the other.

weak person, the one who accepts the status of being a needy victim, cannot awaken anybody’s admiration.